


Brothers

by Abby_Ebon



Series: Down The Gutter Drain [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-01
Updated: 2012-07-01
Packaged: 2017-11-08 23:03:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/448524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abby_Ebon/pseuds/Abby_Ebon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's POV (about Dean) & Dean's POV (about Sam). Feelings. History.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big Brother (Sam's POV)

I think _everyone_ can see it but Dean.

How Dean's overprotective of me; yet follows Dad's orders to the letter. Even when the man is god- only- knows- where.

All that's left of Dad is his book, and Dean treats it like a freaking bible.

I don't have as great of a memory as Dean does. What I remember most of all is Dean following Dad's orders, worshiping the ground Dad walked on.

Dad never needed me to do any hunting- he had Dean as his right hand guy, and that was good enough for the both of them.

Sometimes I think Dean promising to keep me safe, somehow included an unspoken agreement between Dad and Dean.

Like if Dean kept me safe, Dad would only let Dean hunt with him- do the dangerous things.

Dad taught me how to fire a gun in high school. Dean has probably known how to fire a gun around grade school, or younger.

I only started taking the time to really notice things like that around high school.

Given that my memory isn't as trained as Dean's who I suspect Dad _trained_ to remember and react at a young age.

I have to lay awake at night and try think of a time when Dean didn't act like, well, Dad.

When did Dean _not_ know how to fire a gun?

When did Dean _not_ know about the monsters in the night?

When did Dean _not_ follow Dad's orders to a T?

What's worse is I _can't_ remember a time when Dean was 'normal'. If he ever didn't know those things, didn't try his best to protect me, I can't remember it.

Dean was _always_ Dad's little warrior. Dean _always_ had to be the protector- the defender; _never_ the protected- the victim.

Worse he was my protector.

What I do remember was the constant moving; always being the new kid- and Dean always being the one to defend me from the bullies.

Only to bring the bullies wraith on himself, but that was alright with him, because he'd followed Dad's orders- he'd protected me.

I always felt guilty when he came back with bruises or a black eye- or worse. Still do.

Dad never made much fuss about Dean as he did when I was hurt. If I was hurt Dean had failed, and he lost credit in Dad's eyes- so Dean tried to make sure he never failed Dad.

Now that I'm older I know that what Dad made Dean do was wrong.

Dean was still young when Dad made him my protector- it shouldn't have been Dean's responsibility to take care of me. But it was.

Still is, probably always will be.

Because Dean is focused on taking care of me, protecting me, while we're fighting the monsters he doesn't watch his own back as well as he should.

Dean leaves himself open for attack, even if he doesn't realize it.

Maybe he does, and that's why he does it. So the monsters will go after him if they get an opening.

He fights better when he's alone, how do I know? Dean's not the only one who knows how to work a VCR. He doesn't know it, but Dad taped most of his early hunts- even the ones Dad wasn't on.

It's better then Jacky Chan; yet it hurts something in me to watch him in a fight.

I can't help but be drawn to it, to think it's happening right now; even when I know it happened years ago.

I know some things about those monsters- that some are older then Dean by _centuries_. I can't help but be awed that Dean faced them all and won.

That Dean is still alive to tell the tale.

Even if I know he won't tell me about any of it. Maybe that's another promise to Dad.

I wonder a lot about Mom, even if I barely remember her.

Wonder about why Dad is so hard on Dean- but let me grow up how I wanted.

Maybe he thought because Dean was older Dean was Dad's responsibility to train as a Hunter.

Because I was younger I got the 'easy' life.

Maybe Dad dealt with Mom's disappearance by telling himself if I remained 'innocent' of Hunter- life she'd come back.

Dad's very lifestyle prevented that; sure he tried to hide what he did from me, but Dean knew- and Dean can keep a secret with the best of them if he's awake- when he's asleep he talks.

I never let on that I knew, but I think Dean suspected. He never questioned me on it though; maybe he thought I had a right to know. He'll probably never answer me if I ask him- so I don't. It's enough that he's taking me with him.

Sometimes I think _everyone_ can see it but Dean.

See how sometimes - I'm jealous.

Jealous that Dean knows Dad, like he does -in both a Father-Son way; and a fellow Hunter way.

A way I never got a chance to know him.

At least now I'm learning about Dean in a way I never really realized was _there_ before.

Realized what was missing from our 'brotherly-bond'- the realization that he _is_ a Hunter.

How Dean is a 'Hunter', the part of him Dad trained and honed to a perfected warrior, how that part of him and the 'big brother' part of him coexist.

Tolerating each other just barely- the Hunter wanting to protect everyone; yet they are so alike at the same time- both want to protect me; whither that is because Dad made it that way, or just Dean at the core, I don't think I'll ever truly know.

Never the less –he is my big brother, he'll protect me with his life. But I've got to protect him too.

I've got to make sure that when he leaves his defenses down for the monsters to take advantage of; that they never get a chance to hurt him instead of me.


	2. Baby Brother (Dean's POV)

Sammy, for someone so smart- can be naive.

He still seeks out the good in people, still trusts them and their opinions- even if we can fool them every time with flashy titles and fake ID's.

Well mostly fool them.

A person is smart- people are another story. Sammy's always been special; the visions are only a small part of that- that's why I've got to protect him from more then just the supernatural monsters.

Dad understood that.

I worry about the other Hunters- I mean there have to be others out there. Dad couldn't have been the only one. I'm not nearly as clueless as I pretend to be.

Sad fact is- if there are others- and if they are like Dad.

Dad, who fought against all supernatural things- even, at times- the dangerous human ones Sammy can _never_ know about.

If they, like Dad did- like I'm _supposed_ to, fight _all_ supernatural things- not just the monsters…and if they find out about Sammy. Well we'll just keep traveling, I won't let them get the chance to catch up and hurt him.

I promised Dad I'd protect him.

I will, even if Dad didn't know Sammy would become something of the supernatural himself.

Although truthfully- at night- or while I'm driving down the road with Sammy in the passenger side… I wonder…I wonder if I did the right thing.

If taking Sammy and dragging him along with me is something Dad would have approved of.

Dad made me promise to protect Sammy. I can't do that when I'm fighting things that creep- in- the- night halfway across the country- and Sammy's in college.

If something happened to him- if something went after him…I would never get there in time- and if something happened to Sammy, never mind Dad- _I_ would never forgive _myself_.

When there was Dad and I- one of us would travel out to follow a lead- and the other would watch Sammy's back, even if he never knew it.

Another secret- another thing my baby brother won't find out if I can help it.

At the same time if he still was in college- I'd know he'd be out of the way. The monsters wouldn't go after him when he does something stupid- out of a desire to protect me or some victim.

Then again some Hunter could move into 'our' tuff- and find out about Sammy. That is if his abilities had manifested while I was away on some hunt. It's not unheard of. Dad and I did it all too often.

One of things Dad and I took leads about when Sammy was in college was Hunters that might have hid supernatural occurrences and buried them instead of getting rid of them.

The guilt never really got to you- they weren't normal, you never really saw them as human. Because most of the monsters took a human form and you just kind of got used to it after a while.

Then Sammy and his visions dropped on me like a ton of bricks- I had _killed_ people like him for less. Well, not really- because more often then not they'd killed someone before we got there- whither it was on purpose or accidental didn't really matter.

That put them, though they were 'human' in the same category as the monsters- at least as far as most Hunters were concerned.

Now it makes me wonder if some the monsters are as evil as Dad told me they were. Or if they were doing what came naturally to them.

I can't have doubts like that. I have to believe deep down that I'm doing the right thing. That protecting Sammy- my baby brother, is also the right thing.

I wonder if Dad knew what he was asking me- to protect Sammy.

Protect him from monsters in the night. Protect him from people that might hurt him. Protect him from Hunters who might have helped us otherwise.

Yet…I am taking him with me, which might put him in even more danger- by bringing him with me on hunts. Not just from the monsters either- the other unknown Hunters.

Yet I'll take him with me more then just to keep him safe- but to keep me sane.

I need him more then he'll ever know. Then I'll _ever_ let him know- if I can help it. Sam's my baby brother- and he's the only one who knows the _real_ me. Other then Dad- but even Dad has his delusions about what I am.

Not just the nice-guy, flirty, strong-and-silent-type mask.

Not just the muscle to the brains.

Not just the Hunter.

That all what Dad taught me to be- to seem 'normal' to a world that doesn't recognize- or even admit, the existence of the stuff of nightmares.

I can fool anyone- but not Sammy. He's seen me at my best and worst moments- and lived through it. With Dad you don't show him anything- you follow his orders and everything will be alright in the end.

It's easy to let him take control of a situation.

That's why he and Sammy don't get along- they both want some measure of control- and Sammy can't have that when Dad's ordering us- or mostly me, around.

I can live with that.

I can't live with how it rips this family apart around its already frayed edges when they fight. It hurts something deep inside, something I can't name but Sammy probably could.

If it comes down to it -it'll be Sammy I stand by in the end.

I promised Dad I'd protect him- and I will, even if Dad doesn't want me to anymore. Because I am a Hunter- and its Sammy and his strange visions I have to protect- even if it goes against what Dad taught me.


End file.
